Neon green shorts. A black Bugle Boy t-shirt featuring a BMX rider jumping off a ramp and kicking a leg out (best imagined with a bendy-noted guitar solo soundtrack). The rider was rendered in dull colors save for his bike which had neon green tires. That’s right, the tires matched the shorts. This wasn’t a half-assed example of wardrobe curation, this was my A-game outfit. This killed when I wore it in the suburbs of Detroit. Now it was time to make my California debut on the first day of the sixth grade. Add on some Reebok Pump basketball shoes, and done. I was gonna be the shit. Mark it.

The sixth grade was rough. Bite me, California.